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10 Ways to Prepare Your Children for a New Baby

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10 Ways 1

By Amy Wood, Contributing Writer

When parents are expecting their first baby they usually only have themselves to prepare, but when the second baby — or the fifth baby, as was the case in our home recently — is on the way, there are more people to prepare. Certainly this will be a new experience for your child if they are currently the youngest or the only child (or even an older child who can’t remember a lot about when other younger siblings were born), and some things you can’t fully understand until you actually experience it, but even a toddler can understand so much more than he or she can verbalize and there are several things you can do throughout your pregnancy to prepare your child or children for a new sibling.

Here’s what we did recently to prepare our 6, 5, 3, and 2 year olds for the arrival of their new baby brother.

10 Ways to Prepare Your Children for a New Baby

1. Talk openly about the new baby throughout your pregnancy!

Bring the new baby into everyday conversation as it naturally fits and talk about the baby as if he or she is already part of the family.

*“Next year the baby will be with us on vacation!”
*“Do you think the baby will like to play with cars like you do?”
*“The baby will love listening to you talk about animals when he’s born!”
*“Did you know the baby can hear us now? I think he is enjoying hearing this book we are reading!”

Last year we even hung a stocking for the baby and opened it for him on St. Nicholas Day. Being pregnant is an abstract concept for a young child so these kind of things can help a child begin to understand the coming baby as a real person.

2. Share with your children about your prenatal appointments and the baby’s development

You could also bring them along to your prenatal appointments if it seems appropriate to you.  Your care provider may even include your child in your care, such as helping to measure your fundal height or check for the baby’s heartbeat. Also, invite your children to feel the baby moving once they are able to — what an amazing moment to share!

Note from Kate: Late in my last pregnancy, my kids liked to pull my shirt up to watch the baby kick and squirm inside my belly.  They could see my belly jumping all over!  This helped it feel more real to them, to “see” the baby.

3. Talk honestly about what life will be like when the baby is born.

I think honesty is the best policy with all people, including children. There will be many wonderful things about having a new baby in the home, but there will be some challenges as well. Newborns have needs that may seem overwhelming at first and they need almost constant contact with their main caregivers which are usually mom and dad. You can discuss these things with your children and also assure them that their needs will still be met as well because you are a family that works together to make sure that everyone’s needs are cared for.

*“I’m going to have to rest a lot after the baby is born so we may not be able to go to the zoo as often as we like to, but we can make a list of movies to reserve from the library so that we can still have something fun to do together during the time we have to stay at home.”
*“The baby is going to need to nurse a lot so let’s make a list of the things you can do while I am sitting down nursing the baby.”
*“I might have to hold the baby a lot, but I can still play board games with you or read books to you while I do that.”
*“Yes, the baby might try to get into your things once he can crawl, but we can make sure to keep your things safe in your bedroom and close the door to keep the baby out.”

4. Discuss with your kids how they will be cared for while you are away

This is important if you are planning a hospital birth. Make note of anything they want their caregivers to know about their normal routines or any other aspect of caring for them when you aren’t there.

5. Ask for their thoughts on what name to give the baby (if no name has been chosen yet) — and honestly consider them

I’m certainly not going to name my baby John Doolittle, MD or a name that already belongs to one of my other children — both of which came among the suggestions from my kids this time around, but they enjoyed coming up with names and we did seriously consider the ones which could be seriously considered 🙂

Note from Kate: My then almost-4-year-old suggested we name our baby Chocolate.  It was really cute.

You might think that your child is too young to understand much about your pregnancy or a new baby, but please don’t underestimate what even a young child is capable of understanding. I will never forget the day that my oldest heard his younger brother cry out (through the monitor) during a nap and he immediately ran to get a beloved toy, held it up to the monitor, and looked up at me as if to say that I needed to take this toy to the baby to help him calm down. He’s only 12 months older than his brother, who couldn’t have been more than a few months old at the time — yet he understood so much more about this new baby in our home than he ever could have verbalized. Even if your child is very young you never know what they will internalize or when they will come to understand so it’s best to continue discussing these things and involving your child as much as he or she willing.

6. Remember to accept and validate your child’s feelings about having a new baby

Your child’s feelings about having a new sibling may range from happiness to feeling stressed or perhaps not even wanting a new baby around. They may go through all of these emotions in one day. Feelings can be fleeting and rather than showing disapproval for what they might be feeling if it is negative attitude, simply validate their feelings and show that you understand by repeating back what they have said or explaining what you see.

Instead of responding with “don’t say that you don’t want us to have a baby, you’re going to love having a little brother or sister- just wait and see!” or “there’s nothing to be upset about, a new baby will be so fun, you’re so lucky to have a brother or sister!”, say “you feel upset about having a new baby. Yes, I can see how big changes like this can be difficult” and go from there.

We have not necessarily dealt with this kind of attitude within our family, but if this continued to come up I would dig deeper to try to determine why the child feels this way. Perhaps they are concerned that a baby would mess up their toys or some other issue where you can help alleviate their concerns through more explanation.

Remember that issues that seem insignificant to us can seem very BIG to a young child. Also remember that your child likely did not ask to have a sibling (or 4 siblings, etc.) and didn’t choose to be part of a family of your size, whatever that may be. All of these things are outside of their control and they may have a lot of different feelings about it all and they need a safe place to express them and work through them.

7. Share memories of when your older children were babies

A great way to help your children understand what a baby will be like and help them to still feel important and loved at the same time is to share with them about what they were like when they were babies. Show them their baby pictures and reminisce about when they were babies. You can talk about the normal baby things that they did, like nursing and learning to crawl and being carried around in a wrap, but they will also enjoy the funny stories- like how they pooped all across your bed when they were a newborn or how you left them alone for a few minutes only to come back and realize that they had suddenly figured out how to move across the floor and had strewn a large basket of toys all over the dining room!

If you have more than one child you can tell them about what it was like when you brought them home to their sibling(s) or how they reacted to their new sibling’s arrival.

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8. Read books about being a big brother or sister and what it’s like having a new baby

This is how we shared with our sons that we were expecting another baby this time. I found some great books through our local library system and although they didn’t quite get it at first once we explained why we had chosen these specific books they were very interested and wanted to read the books many times over the next few weeks. We chose a mix of longer and shorter picture books and also board books to appeal to all of our children. I highly recommend Baby on the Way by William and Martha Sears.

9. Include your children in preparing for the baby’s arrival in hands-on ways

There are many ways in which young children can help prepare for a new baby, and of course these are all opportunities for continuing discussion about the baby, what a baby needs, and even how all family members can help take care of these needs. Here are a few ideas of areas where your children can help you prepare for the baby’s needs:

*Getting out the baby’s clothes, blankets, and other items
*Organizing the baby’s room or sleeping space or other areas throughout the house
*Helping to choose any new things that need to be purchased
*Prepping cloth diapers

10. Help each child choose a special item, that represents something about themselves, to give to the baby when he or she is born

This idea came to me when I was in a thrift store and saw a receiving blanket with birds on it that made me think of one of my sons who is a bird lover. He wouldn’t need such a blanket, but I thought it would be sweet if he gave the blanket to the baby, since it represented something about who he is and would also be a gesture of love to his new sibling. When I brought it home and explained this idea to him his eyes lit up and he was so proud that he had something special to give to the baby — and that it had birds on it. It was just something special he could share with the baby and help them bond immediately.

I found an item like this for all of my other sons: a hat with animals on it to be from my son who always wears a hat and also loves animals, the responsibility of bringing the proper outfit to the hospital (we had one boy and one girl outfit chosen) was given to my oldest son, and a small stuffed animal for my son who loves stuffed animals to give to the baby. They all loved this and constantly checked the shelf in my room where I kept these things to make sure they were there and ready for when the baby would be born.

It ended up being a really special moment when they all gave these things to their baby brother after he was born, and I will share more about that later this month!

Taking the time beforehand to prepare your children for their new sibling can help to ease the transition when the baby arrives and also set your children up for healthy sibling relationships throughout their lives.

How do you prepare your children for a new baby in your family?

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The post 10 Ways to Prepare Your Children for a New Baby appeared first on Modern Alternative Pregnancy.


10 Ways to Stand Up For Your Birthing Rights

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Right now, much of the advocacy surrounding women’s rights deals with birth control and access to abortion.  Not very much is dedicated to pregnancy and birthing rights.

That’s too bad, because most women have access to birth control (if they so choose) and abortion isn’t something most will deal with.  But pregnancy and birthing rights are issues that almost all women will deal with at some point in their lives — often multiple times.

Yet, women are still treated like they don’t “get it.”  They’re told frequently that they didn’t go to medical school, don’t know how to take care of their bodies and their babies, and they just need to trust their doctors.  If things go poorly during birth, they are admonished, “Be happy you have a healthy baby.  That’s all that matters.”

More and more advocates are fighting back against this, though.  Fighting for women to gain or retain the right to decide when and where she will give birth.  (In some states, home birth is essentially illegal.)  This is critically important!

That’s why we’re giving you 10 ways to stand up for your birthing rights.

10 Ways to Stand Up For Your Birthing Rights

1. Refuse to be bullied

First and foremost, do not bend in the face of bullies.  Bullies will tell you that your feelings and choices don’t matter, and that you’re not thinking of your baby’s needs.  They will try to pit your desires against your baby’s best interests, as if these are separate things (they aren’t).  To get you to second-guess yourself.  They will tell you horror stories and talk about how your baby could die if you _____.

These are the tactics of bullies.  Nothing more or less.  Do not let them affect your well-thought-out decisions.  Walk away from people who talk to you this way — whether it’s another mama, a random person online, or a doctor.  If they can’t be bothered to communicate information to you respectfully, and allow you to make your own choices, they don’t get to talk to you about your situation at all.  You keep your birthing rights by respectfully but firmly demanding them.

2. Correct misinformation when it is shared

Many people have heard the stories that bullies have shared, and are passing along that information as if it were fact, unknowingly.  Stand up for the truth, by gently correcting it.  For example, “Home birth is illegal.”  The truth may be, “Midwives are not legally allowed to attend home births in this state, but you may birth anywhere you choose.  You decide for your own body and baby.  Getting a midwife to attend you may be difficult, making home birth not a viable option, but it is not illegal.”

For example, “Home birth is illegal.”  The truth may be, “Midwives are not legally allowed to attend home births in this state, but you may birth anywhere you choose.  You decide for your own body and baby.  Getting a midwife to attend you may be difficult, making home birth not a viable option, but it is not illegal.”

Or, “C-sections are safe and fine and have no risks.”  The truth is, “C-sections come with high risks to both mom and baby.  There are situations in which the benefits of getting baby out quickly outweigh those risks.  For low-risk moms, going into labor naturally and birthing vaginally is much safer than a c-section.

Risks of a c-section include poor lung function in baby, increased risk of NICU time, disturbed gut flora, cuts from the surgeon’s scalpel, delayed breastfeeding initiation (and lower rates of breastfeeding success), maternal infection, longer healing time, and more.”

3. Stand up for other women

What another woman chooses, or ends up with (if she doesn’t have her ‘preferred’ experience) is none of anyone else’s business.  It may be true that things could have been different.  But we don’t know.  Bottom line, we need to stand up for other women and their rights to make their own choices, even if those choices are not what we would choose.  We have to defend their autonomy, and ability to make thoughtful decisions for themselves and their babies, from unassisted home birth to scheduled c-section.

This includes defending women if others attack them in person or on social media.  It can be hard, at times, to defend yourself — this is such a personal topic.  Coming to someone else’s defense is important when it is needed.

4. Share correct information on birthing choices

Believing that someone has the right to make their own choices, and not ever discussing information are different.  Some women believe that if you advocate for home birth, you are shaming women who choose the hospital.  This is not true, and only divides people further.

Sharing factual, research-based information on birthing options is important.  Women may not know what all their options are.  They may not know what criteria are used to select the best birth location or care provider.  So, we need to keep sharing this kind of information in a non-judgmental way.  In person, on social media, and anywhere we can.  Every time, it will reach someone who didn’t know, and is grateful.

5. Encourage other women

Sometimes, women feel uneasy about making a choice because they feel like (or know) that others around them won’t support them, or will even outright criticize them.  We need to be a voice of support.  “I believe in you.  I believe you are capable of doing what is best for yourself and your baby.”  We can also say, “If you are interested, I would love to share some other options with you,” but if they are not interested, we support them where they are.

6. Participate in legislative efforts

If they are currently legislative efforts in your state to make home birth or midwives legal or illegal, get involved!  Share information about it.  Volunteer with a campaign (putting together or distributing fliers, helping organize a rally, attending a rally, etc.).  Contact your local representatives and tell them what you’d like to see happen (pass/block the bill).

7. Be willing to defend yourself

Sometimes, when push comes to shove, you have to defend yourself.  Be willing to say, “This is my body, and my baby.  I make the choices.  I’m not going to argue about it.  I’ve done my research, and I know what the best options are for me.”

8. Push for new legislation

If there aren’t currently any legislative efforts in your state, and the current laws aren’t favorable for women’s choices, start some!  Band together with other local mothers who believe in birthing rights, and look for a representative or two who would be willing to draft and sponsor a bill to make home birth, midwives, etc. legal.  Many representatives are willing to do this if they know that citizens find it important!

9. Get involved in birth work

This isn’t for everyone, but for some, it is.  Get involved in birth work.  Become a doula, or a midwife, or another type of support person.  Work towards being a lactation educator, or a child birth educator.  Work directly with pregnant women to help them know their options and to advocate for them.  A doula is a powerful weapon — she can say, “This is what your choices are.  Here are some resources to look into these options more.  These are some questions you may ask your care provider.”  She can stop doctors during labor to ask these same questions — “The doctor would like to do this.  Do you have any questions about that or would you like to explore other options?”  She can let staff know what you have chosen and ask them to respect that when you’re in no position to do so.

If you’re passionate about birthing rights, becoming a direct advocate for birthing women may be for you!

10. Share your passion and your story

No matter what, keep telling your story.

Many women are birthing rights advocates because they have been in a situation where their rights were not respected.  They have learned to be passionate because they have been ignored or hurt.  Share your story — if you don’t, it’s easy for people to think it’s an abstract problem, something that doesn’t happen too often, something that isn’t worth worrying about.  When you share your story, people realize it does matter, and it does happen.

When we keep speaking out, we will make changes.  We will help women to take back their rights to pregnancy and birth.  To get accurate information without fear, to feel secure in their own choices, and to not be bullied.

How do you stand up for your birthing rights?

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The post 10 Ways to Stand Up For Your Birthing Rights appeared first on Modern Alternative Pregnancy.

4 Tips for Bringing Home {Another} New Baby

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Judah and Jeremiah 2

By Amy Wood, Contributing Writer

Earlier this month I shared about how we prepared our four young children (ages 2-6) for the arrival of their baby brother, but what about once the baby is actually here? I’m glad you asked! Here’s how we welcomed home our fifth baby, introduced him to our children, kept him safe among many other little ones, involved our children with his care, and guided our older children through this transitional time.

Introducing New Siblings

How you introduce your older children to the new baby will depend on where you give birth in some settings your older children may even be present for the birth itself (I love that sweet thought!). All of my babies have been born in the hospital (or we ended up at the hospital after an unexpected van birth on the way) and sometimes we have had the older siblings come to the hospital to meet the baby, other times we have waited to introduce them until we bring the baby home. This has been dependent on the time of day the baby was born and the length of our hospital stay.

With our fifth baby we planned to leave the hospital after 24 hours so our older children first met their newest little brother when we came home the day after he was born.

Our children were excitedly waiting when we arrived home with Levi and could barely wait their turn to give Levi the gift they each had for him. It was so sweet to watch the boys all give something special to Levi and take their turn to hold him (if they wanted to) and see him for the first time.

My oldest was especially excited and asked if we could put on the boy outfit, which he has been in charge of, right away. He had also showered right before we got home because, according to him, he wanted to be fresh and clean and look sharp for the baby. It was adorable! When my 2 year old saw the baby he said “that baby nice” and was very interested in him and continued to ask about him often. It seemed like all of my older sons had an instant love for their new brother.

Isaiah and Levi

Once everyone seemed ready to move on from meeting the baby, they did. After that we carried on with our evening, continued discussions about babies and what they need and how we would care for him, and let them hold or see Levi again whenever they wanted to.

Ensuring Baby’s Safety

Every parent gives thought to their baby’s safety within their home, but when there are other children around there are more aspects to consider. I could leave my oldest son lying on the floor in the living room while I went to the bathroom, but that wouldn’t have been a great idea with any subsequent children.

Older siblings, though loving and with good intentions of caring for their little brother or sister, may not realize what things may actually be harmful to a baby– or unintentional injuries may occur from accidents (such as tripping and falling onto the baby or throwing a toy across the room which ends up hitting the baby). While even babies are very resilient it is still important to protect a fragile infant, especially in the early weeks. Here are some things we did in our home:

*Put baby gates to good use- clearly your newborn isn’t mobile but you can use a baby gate to keep your older children out of the room the baby is in, when needed.

*Use a wrap or other baby carrier to keep the baby close and safe.

*Consider purchasing a simple bouncy seat for a safe place to put the baby when you can’t hold him. A blanket spread on the floor would also work, but sometimes children are not paying attention and I think a bouncy seat signals to them “hey don’t step here!” in a more noticeable way.

*Take either the baby or the older child with you if you need to go to the bathroom or go to a different area of the house and you are not comfortable leaving them alone together unsupervised.

*Put a doorknob lock on the outside of the bedroom door where the baby sleeps. Levi sleeps on our bed, which is low to the ground, and I was concerned about my older kids going in there while he was asleep- to check on him, see him, etc- and I didn’t want that to happen while I was unaware so this simple solution came to me one day. Only my oldest is capable of opening the door with the lock on it and he is mature enough to not do so when it is not an appropriate time.

*Teach older children the proper way to care for a baby, but remember not to put too much responsibility on a young child and always supervise them when they are around a newborn. Be cautious about leaving older siblings alone with a newborn until you are confident in their ability to act appropriately around the baby. You know what your own particular children are capable of and this may by different than other children of the same age.

*As your baby gets older try to find an area of your home that can be a dedicated space that is clear of any inappropriate objects and safe for the baby to play in and help your older kids learn how to honor the needs that the baby has, such as a safe place to play and explore.

Involving Older Children in Caring for the Baby

When you bring home your second child, or any other subsequent children, it’s likely your older children will be more than willing to help you with their new baby brother or sister! Again, you should be mindful of putting too much responsibility on a young child, but there are many things an older child can do to help care for their littlest sibling and if your children are anything like mine they will be so excited to be given these opportunities.

I believe that children feel proud and important when they are helpful and that being involved in their siblings care can strengthen their bond together. Here are some ideas for involving your older children in caring for the baby:

*Ask them to retrieve needed items- diapers, wipes, burp cloth, toy, water bottle (for you!), etc.

*Give them the opportunity to “read” to the baby while you get dressed, make breakfast, etc.

*Ask them to sit next to the baby while you are assisting another child with his needs

*Let them choose what outfit the baby will wear

*Ask them to take the baby’s dirty clothes to the laundry

*Include them in the baby’s bath time- they can watch, hand you a washcloth or soap, etc.

Asher reading to Levi

My older kids were disappointed that Levi could not play with them right away, but involving them in these other ways gave them plenty of opportunities to interact with him, and now that he is older and can play they enjoy spending time with him and watching him move through different stages of development- they even volunteer to take care of his needs (and understand his cues!). I hope they are well on their way to a lifetime of friendship and brotherly love!

Guiding Children Through the Transition of a New Baby

I believe the keys to guiding our children through this transitional time are honesty, respectful communication, and understanding.

A newborn has more needs than an older child, or at least more urgent needs- they need to be fed when they show signs of hunger, they need their diaper changed often, they need much physical contact with their caregivers- but we have to be mindful to not forget the needs that our older children have as well.

In our family we don’t want to send the message that certain people in our family are prioritized over others (whether that be the baby, the older children, or even the parents), but instead we recognize that each person in our family has needs and we explain that we have to work together to meet everyone’s needs. Some needs are more urgent than others and so must be addressed first, such as when a baby is hungry.

I have found that my kids are very understanding of this and in fact they want the baby’s needs to be taken care of right away- they realize that when a baby needs something he needs to be tended to as soon as possible. We’ve discussed with them how this builds trust and security and how this will lead to patience on the baby’s part as he gets older- because he feels secure in knowing that he can trust us to always meet his needs.

My kids love their baby brother and because we have had many open and honest discussions about his needs and what kind of changes we may go through now, they understand and accept these things- but while there are many wonderful things about welcoming a new baby into the family there are some challenging aspects as well. Honest and respectful communication can usually serve as a buffer for these challenging aspects and I want my kids to feel comfortable in expressing any frustrations or other feelings they are experiencing. It might be something little- they are upset that I couldn’t play a game with them because the baby was needing my attention at the time, but it’s important to empathize with them and help them work through their feelings and come out on the other side, without shaming them for feeling this way.

We also purpose to do little things to let our older children know that we are thinking of them in the midst of caring for a newborn, which sometimes takes a lot of time. Before Levi was born I bought each of the boys a new coloring book so they would have something to work on, that they could do on their own, while I was taking care of the baby. We also made a list of movies we would like to see that I reserved from the library, and we watched those in the early weeks after Levi was born. We did the same with books and audiobooks. You can do the same type of thing based on your childrens interests.

Also, be sure to take advantage of any help that is offered to you by your family and friends– you can take the time to do something special with your older children (even something as simple as reading with them or being present while they play) while someone else holds the baby, or a family member can spend time with your older children when your baby has needs that only you can meet.

Whenever we bring a new baby home it quickly begins to feel like he has just always been part of our family. There is a transitional period as we all get used to our new normal, and every day doesn’t go smoothly, but doing these thing has helped us to ease the transition and make sure all members of the family feel valued and respected. Even though our family is larger than its ever been before, bringing Levi into our family has been the smoothest transition yet.

Do you have any special memories of introducing a new baby to your older children? What helped your children transition into life with a new baby?

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The post 4 Tips for Bringing Home {Another} New Baby appeared first on Modern Alternative Pregnancy.

17 Safe and Effective Positions for Natural Birth

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positions for natural birth

By Kristen, Contributing Writer

I challenge you to stop for a minute and think up all of the Hollywood birth scenes you’ve seen. Now I want you to toss them all. And, while you’re at it, toss all the scenes from “reality shows” involving birth too.

The positions those moms labored and birthed in are not only useless in helping get a baby down and out, they’re sometimes harmful. Fortunately, moms like you are demanding evidence-based birthing practices. Let’s look at what positions really help baby out – safely and smoothly.

Positions are Powerful

The positions you use during your birthing time can have an incredible impact. You might not realize it, but your baby is very busy during birth. He or she is curling, tucking, rotating, spinning, flexing, and moving down. Fundamentally, everything your body does is to support what your baby is doing.

The positions you use during labor and birth help your baby do the work of moving down and out. Here are some examples of how positions help:

  • Opening your pelvis to create more room for baby
  • Assisting baby’s work to rotate in a particular direction
  • Letting gravity help baby move down
  • Removing tension that’s slowing baby down
  • Re-shaping your pelvic landmarks so baby can travel over, under, or around them
  • Helping you relax and rest when necessary
  • Relieve intensity/pain that you’re having a hard time with

Because birthing while semi-reclined in a hospital bed is the medical paradigm pregnant women are indoctrinated to, many women don’t even realize position is a powerful, natural help during birth – but truly it is!

Standard Positions may be Dangerous

Speaking of that stereotypical medical birthing position – there’s good reason to avoid it. Positions where you’re lying on your back, or even in a semi-sitting position, are potentially dangerous to you and your baby.

The danger is both direct and indirect. Let me explain:

Directly, reclining back in bed compresses the aorta and inferior vena cava, major blood vessels in our cardiovascular system. Your doctor or midwife may have actually mentioned these to you, because sometimes pregnant moms who regularly sleep or lie on their back in late pregnancy compress these vessels without realizing it.

The compression can actually lead to a cardiovascular disorder called supine hypotensive syndrome. Things are generally not going to get to that point during labor. But how many times have you heard someone say “the baby’s heart rate was dropping” or “the baby was in distress?” False positives on electronic fetal monitors are part of the problem – click here for Is Fetal Monitoring Really Saving Babies?.

But position is another huge issue. Moms stay in one place for their entire labor, sometimes unable to move or shift due to medications, other times locked in place by policies and procedures. Vessels get compressed. Baby can’t shift or get Mama to shift.

When baby’s birth draws near, women are put into unnatural positions that further compress blood vessels and put incredible tension on the pelvic floor that wouldn’t otherwise be there (we were not meant to give birth with our legs up in the air).

That leads into the indirect dangers of “standard” labor and birthing positions. They hold the pelvis and the baby in unnatural, restrictive places. A woman can’t get up and move to help her baby rotate. She can’t get up and flex to open her pelvis and make room for the baby.

Work with Your Baby (You DON’T Have to Stay in Bed)

There’s a massive misconception – that the pelvis is rigid and inflexible. This is basically true for men. Hopefully you can see the glaring inconsistency – birthing mothers are not men. They are women, and women’s pelvises, especially pregnant pelvises, are made to move!

They’re meant to shift, flex, and open for baby. Hormones help with this, and the positions you choose and use during labor and birth help too.

When women stay in one place, landmarks on the pelvis, such as the coccyx (or tailbone) can cause baby to stop moving down. When mom moves and the pelvis flexes, baby can get past this landmark. Babies are meant to rotate, and women’s pelvises are meant to open.

When you’re birthing your baby you are not alone – your baby is right there with you. Your little partner 😉 Focus on working with your baby during his or her birth. You don’t have to stay in bed. You can change positions and help him or her move right on down.

Let’s cover some helpful positions!

Safe and Effective Positions for Natural Birth

Study these positions, then really play with them here and there throughout the rest of your pregnancy.

Which ones make you feel more “open?”

Which ones make you feel “closed?”

Which cause tension? Which are comfortable? Exploring and playing… being curious about this (even if you do it privately and ask these questions only in your own mind) really brings a good body awareness, which helps you during your birthing time.

Upright Positions

Upright positions are great at bringing your baby right down over the cervix. Gravity helps, too!

They’re very useful early in your birthing time to help things establish, and walking can help you pass the time. They can make things more intense, but if you need help getting your baby moving, the intensity is worth it. Have your coach breath and work actively with you to help you as you both help your baby.

Walking

Walking is a good way to keep things moving along well and to help you work with birthing energy. It’s especially helpful in the early stages of birthing.

Leaning on a Counter or Chair

Counters or sturdy chairs are great to lean on and put your weight into because you can ground yourself firmly while you roll and rotate your hips, or just need support during a rush. They also don’t get tired :)!

leaning-on-support

Here I’m using a chair since I could move it into the picture, but a counter works very well too! You can spread your legs to the point comfortable to you, and you may find yourself naturally squatting a little with birthing waves.

Leaning on a Support Person

You can also lean into a support person. This is a versatile position because you can stand, sway, dance a little, or you can walk (your support person would be walking backwards) slowly. Since your full weight isn’t on your support person most of the time, it tends to be a sustainable position.

Stand with One Leg Up on Something

This position can help you feel very open. Experiment with differing heights to see what’s comfortable – a low stool, the seat of a chair, or the side of a tub are good options. It’s best if you can use this position with a support nearby, either an object, wall, or a person.

Kneeling Positions

Hands and Knees

Hands and knees is a great position that many birthing women find themselves in naturally, especially as they move deeply into their birthing times. It’s a very natural position for second stage. If your baby’s heart rate seems to be slowing a lot, hands and knees is a beneficial position to get good blood flow to your placenta and babe.

all-fours

You can use this position in bed 🙂

On Knees, Leaning Forward

You’ll use this position leaning forward into the seat of a chair, a stool, birth ball, the side of the birth tub, etc. It’s a comfortable position that lets you keep baby positioned well, and you can rise up and move as rushes come over you. It’s another you can use in bed.

kneeling-support

I leaned forward on the edge of the bith tub for many of my baby’s births. I was kneeling in the position you see above, only slight more upright and with my legs spread open more. This is a comfortable and effective position for birthing a baby – I have birthed four of mine this way!

Kneeling with One Leg Extended

In this position you’re kneeling on one knee, but have the other leg out to the side. This position is another that really opens the pelvis. It’s harder to stay in for long periods, but you may want to use it to really position baby well, or use it for a few minutes, kneel to rest, then go back.

Sitting Positions

Remember to use good posture when sitting – you don’t want to “tuck your pelvis under.” This will come much more naturally if you’re using this good posture during pregnancy:

  • Sit down as if your chair were slightly behind you, so your tailbone is out and the top of your pelvis is tilted forward
  • Hinge forward slightly at your hips rather than curling your back

Here I am simply sitting on my birth ball, demonstrating good posture for pregnancy. I’m sitting straight, but if I wanted to lean forward on something to rest, I’d “hinge” forward at my hips rather than curling my back.

proper-positioning

You can pull your belly in slightly (or do Tupler belly exercises) for a bit! My tummy muscles are totally relaxed in this picture.

Your pelvis doesn’t need to stay stable in this position. You can feel free to rock back and forth, side-to-side, circle your pelvis around, etc. You can relax a bit, too, don’t be afraid of that.

Find a point where you feel comfortable, and be aware of how your pelvis situated. You want your tailbone back, rather than “tucked under”.

Sitting on a Birth Ball, Leaning into a Support

This is a great position to use with your birth ball because you’re able to rest nicely and still keep a good, mobile pelvis. Leaning on a chair, a bed, couch, or the arm of a piece of furniture are all good choices. Remember, you can put a towel under you on the birth ball and have it changed periodically if it’s getting damp 😉

Leaning Over the Back of a Chair

This position keeps your pelvis and baby nicely aligned, and can give you a rest if you need it. It also opens your pelvis up nicely. You’re not able to move too much in this position, though, so after your rest try and pick a more active position (such as the supported sit on a birth ball above).

Sitting on a Birth Stool

A birth stool can be great, especially as you’re getting close to pushing. Many women find it easy to relax as it’s similar to the toilet seat 🙂 There’s an opening for your baby to come through, too, so you can give birth on a birth stool 😉

Tailor Sitting or Indian Style Sitting

Very simple sitting that helps open the pelvis. Versatile and can be used on a floor, chair, or in bed! You can also sit with the balls of your feet together to get a more open pelvis.

Sitting in Someone Else’s Lap

This can be a really comforting position, or a position to make you feel safer if you’ve just gotten settled in your hospital room or birth center room. You might also choose this position if things are particularly intense at any point and you need a lot of physical and emotional support.

Remember if you’re using this position, or any dependent on a support person, your support person may need a break from time to time to stretch, use the bathroom, etc . Have someone else step in, lie on your left side, or support yourself with a birth ball, counter, etc. until they return 🙂

On the Toilet

The toilet is often a good place to sit if you can’t relax because it’s pretty natural to relax your pelvic muscles on the toilet seat!

I didn’t feel the need to take a picture of the toilet – you know what it looks like!

Squatting Positions

Remember, you want to squat with your feet flat if possible, so use a support person or object to lean into. This positions your pelvis optimally for good baby position. Like with good posture, squatting during pregnancy can help you get your body used to good squatting positions. Many prenatal yoga exercises include this 🙂

Supported Squat

This squat can be done in front of a birth ball, support person, bed, couch, the side of your birthing tub, etc.

sqatting-with-support

Hanging Squat

You do this by squatting slightly as you’re hanging on your partner for support. This is a good position for actually pushing your baby out.

You coach/support person may want to be leaning back against a wall to give them support.

Squat with One Leg Extended

Like the other positions with a leg extended, this one can really help open your pelvis. The kneeling variation may be more sustainable for a long term, but this one gives you a lot of flexibility in your pelvis (so you can rock it back and out of the way):

Lying Down Positions

Lying down is a good way to rest (though some moms find they can’t lie down… they just need to be up and more active). It’s also a good choice when you’re pushing a baby who wants to come very fast and you want to slow things down to stretch your tissues! Someone else can hold your leg up if you’re on your side while you’re pushing your baby out.

Lie on your left side with your belly angled down slightly, as I demonstrate in the picture:

lying-left-side

Would you like to get all of these positions and several more in an easy handout form? Would you like more tips on keeping your labor moving smoothly and easily? Natural childbirth essentials – you’ll get printable handouts, video lessons, and more.

What positions for natural birth were most effective for you?

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Baby Eli: Born in a Van!

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Baby Eli- Born in a Van 2

Guest Post by Lisa of Ruthie Bell Home

I was 41 + 1 on March 12, 2013 and so very ready to meet my baby.  We had decided to not find out the gender of this new little one and, with two girls already, I just could not wait to find out if I was carrying my first baby boy.  After lunch I had my first actual contraction, not a Braxton-Hicks one like I had been having, but a real true contraction.  I was so excited and was looking forward to getting another in the next ten minutes and finally start my labor.  Well, that was not to be because I did not have another one all afternoon.

Is Labor Coming?

It became evening, and we had plans to meet up with some family for dinner.  At the restaurant everyone kept asking me when I was going to have the baby, if I was having any contractions or any other signs that labor might be impending.  After dinner I left annoyed with all the questions.  I was as ready as anyone. Trust me.  My baby just seemed pretty comfortable and everyone else’s guess was as good as mine as to when labor would finally start.

Ironically my contractions started about 10 minutes after we left the restaurant while we were pulling into our driveway at home.  This time they continued, but were mild and 20 minutes apart.  We had our normal evening routine and put the kids to bed.  My husband had men’s Bible study and asked me if I thought he should go.  I said he should because the contractions were so mild and still not close together.

He left for Bible study, and I settled into bed and put on some YouTube videos about using the breast pump and pressure points to encourage along a stalled labor. I really wanted to make this thing happen!  I got out the breast pump and started pumping every four minutes to simulate a labor rhythm. It was totally working!  Every time I would put the pump to my breast for even 30 seconds I would get a contraction.  Then I would wait  four minutes and then repeat.

Labor Gets Moving

Soon labor was going on its own even without the pump.  My contractions were still totally manageable, if I practiced the relaxation methods I had learned in my Bradley Childbirth book.

My husband came home from Bible study around 10 and I told him that we were definitely going to be having a baby.  We were planning to go to the birthing center in our area about 30 minutes away.  I still hadn’t reached the “self doubt” sign post that we had learned about in our birth book, so we figured it still wasn’t time to go in.

I even called the midwife and she said that since I was still able to talk through contractions it wasn’t time yet.  Looking back, this is when we should have left the house because I had had my last child naturally and it also progressed very quickly.  But, we did not leave.

I called my mom and gave her the heads up that she might need to come over soon to stay with the other kids, so we could head into the birthing center.  I even offered to bring the kids to her.  (That wasn’t very smart, since they live another 20 minutes further into the country, but I was still in denial about being in labor.)

Baby Eli- Born in a Van

Leaving for the Birth Center

As I was packing my bag, because I knew it was almost time to leave, I had a contraction that I couldn’t relax through and I told my husband “I can’t do this.”  UH OH!  That meant I was in transition.  It happens every time.  No matter how much I practice and prepare I have a moment of self doubt right before it is time to push.

By now, we had called the midwife and told her we were coming in and my mom was on her way to watch the kids.  My husband put some logs into the wood stove and started the van.  He also had his wits about him when he decided to remove the other kids’ car seats.  This proved very helpful, because I needed a nice open backseat for what I was about to do next.

My mom arrived and as I was walking out to get in the van I already knew we were in trouble.  I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom really bad.  I was still in denial. Certainly I couldn’t already be pushing.  But, I remembered that familiar feeling from when I had my daughter naturally and, yes I really was pushing. 

We got into the van and I called the midwife and told her I didn’t think we were going to make it.  She told me to lay down and pant.

My husband was blazing down the highway when I saw the blue flashing lights coming up behind us.  We were getting pulled over!  My husband jumped out of the van and yelled at the officer that his wife was having a baby.  Naturally, he couldn’t just take the raving lunatic at his word and he had to shine his flashlight into my window and look at me.  There I was with my water, which had just broken, all over the seat and I was panting and probably looking a little panicked.  He didn’t waste any time before he waved my husband on.  I don’t think he wanted to deliver the baby.

We didn’t get another 5 miles down the highway when three strong pushes brought a crying baby boy into the world.  I reached between his legs and reported to my husband, who was up front driving, “It’s a boy!”  I called my midwife to tell her I didn’t make it but the baby seemed healthy.  I was just happy it was over and I was holding my precious son.

We arrived at the birth center and the midwife came into the van to give us blankets for the baby and make sure neither he nor I needed any immediate assistance.  Since we both looked healthy, she escorted me though the back door into the birthing center.

There I held my baby boy skin to skin and nursed him, while the nurse and midwife looked us both over.  I delivered the placenta and went to the bathroom. They weighed him and he was 8 lb, 7 oz and 22 inches long.

After only being there for about two hours, we were back in the van and heading home.  My husband I looked at each other and wondered, “Did that really just happen?” It felt like a dream.  When My other kids woke up they came in the room and I was holding their new baby brother.

Two years later, in August of 2015, I gave birth to another little boy, but we decided to stay home this time. 🙂

Have you ever had an unusual, or exciting birth?

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8 Ways To Know You’re Close To Your Due Date

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By Daja, Contributing Writer

It’s the third trimester and the countdown to the baby’s arrival begins.  People now freely ask, “When are you due?” Of course, we all know that due dates are less accurate than that ape that predicted the Superbowl.

But, there are some surefire ways to know that your labor is imminent.   At least these methods have worked for me.  Not super scientific, but really, who are you going to believe? Naegele or a mother of nine?

For kicks, let’s count this down Tonight-Show-style.  Here are eight ways I know I am close to (finally) having that baby!

8 Ways To Know You’re Close To Your Due Date

Number eight: When it takes an act of Congress to get me out of the house. (It’s just takes too much effort.)

Number seven: When suddenly I can breathe easier. Unfortunately, I do all that breathing in the bathroom.

Number six: Compared with the second trimester boost of energy, when I am close to my due date I’m exhausted. Yet, I spend more time on the toilet than in the bed at night.

Number five: If my husband laughs one more time when I break wind, I’m gonna punch him in the face. I can’t help it! (The breaking wind part, I mean.)

Number four: Speaking of punching people, I have suddenly discovered that I have latent hostility.  Who knew?! Note to self: Google “anger management.”

Number three: When I seriously consider converting a 1000 thread-count bed sheet into a maternity muumuu. Nothing else fits anyway.

Number two: When I cannot see my feet, which is just as well because I’m wearing Crocs the world’s ugliest shoes.

And the number one way I know I am close to going into labor is….

Number one: When old wives’ tales about how to start labor suddenly don’t sound so ridiculous. Eat an entire pineapple while balancing on a ball in the middle of a pool during a full-moon….SURE! Why not?!

Jokes aside, your baby will come when he or she is truly ready. Contrary to how you may feel ’round about week 41 1/2, no one has ever been pregnant forever. It’s cliché, but it’s true. Hang in there, Mama. Call a friend who has been there and done that. I bet if you email her this post she’ll bring you chocolate and a video and some aromatherapy oils. You won’t even have to beg.

Want more due date hilarity? Here are 10 more ways you’ll know you’re about to go into labor:

[Disclaimer: No violence was actually perpetrated against any husbands in the writing of this post. He’s fantastically supportive and loving. Even if tooting does make him laugh like a 5th grader.]

How do you know when you’re close to your due date?

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5 Ways to Use a Rebozo During Labor

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By Jacki May, Contributing Writer

Our first daughter was born in a hospital in Boeblingen, Germany. As I walked to my labor room, I saw this piece of fabric hanging from the ceiling. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me what it was (after all, it wasn’t covered in my childbirth education classes). Needless to say, I didn’t use it.

Flash forward to today, 4 babies later and working as a doula, I have come to be quite fond of this piece of fabric…a rebozo.

A rebozo is a Mexican shawl, traditionally used by Mexican midwives during labor and then used by mothers to carry their babies. There are varying lengths of rebozos but many sold today have a 9 foot length. They are about 22 inches wide and come in just beautiful patterns.

rebozo during labor

In my doula bag, I carry a short rebozo and a BB Slen woven wrap. While not a traditional rebozo, many moms may find themselves with a woven wrap and I love showing them how to use it during labor. The energy carries with the wrap as it moves from labor tool to carrying baby. What a beautiful thing!

Without further ado….

5 Ways to Use a Rebozo During Labor

As Belly Support

pregnant belly rebozo during labor

To use the rebozo in this fashion, ensure the edge of the rebozo is under the belly. Cross the rebozo in the back (don’t twist the straps) and then place over the shoulder so that mom can grab them. Mom can then slightly pull on the straps to give a little support to her belly. Adding a sway can be nice in between contractions.

Double Hip Squeeze

double hip squeeze rebozo during labor

A favorite amongst mothers and doulas alike, the double hip squeeze is a wonderful technique for counter pressure on the back. It can be tiring when using just your arms and hands, so bringing in a rebozo is a nice way to support the mother. In the last two weeks both moms I have worked with absolutely loved this! I even had a dad jump up during a childbirth education class so he could practice (how awesome is that!).

To do this, gather the rebozo under the belly, around the hips, and pull in opposite directions (pull strap in left hand to the right side and vice versa). You can then add a twist to keep it tight and add more counter pressure on the back.

Sifting

sifting rebozo during labor

This is great to use during contractions but it is for use anytime. The mom pictured is supporting herself on a birth ball, but you can also do this when on hands and knees (my favorite position when I first got into the birth tub with our 4th daughter).

To do this: spread the rebozo over the belly and slightly pull up. Begin gently rocking, or sifting, back and forth.

Hip Shake

hip shake rebozo during labor

While initially this looks odd, it is very relaxing. In the picture I am behind the mom, but you could also be in front of the mom. The mom could be resting on hand and knees, supported on a birth ball, or, like the picture above, resting on her forearms.

To do this: drape the rebozo over her bottom and grab and the outside of the hips. You will then “shake” her hips by moving your hands forward and back. This is quicker than sifting and is wonderful during a contraction to help her to be loose and limp.

While Pushing

pushing with rebozo during labor

Pushing can be a very tiring point during labor, and moms who have had babies know, there is the right muscles to use for efficient pushing (efficient pushing makes us sound like machines but there is a huge difference in muscle use!). Above you see me picture sitting directly in front of the mom, which may or may not be possible to your pushing phase BUT you can also attach the rebozo to a squat bar or a “ladder” (we have them in labor rooms here in Belgium).

To do this (mom): Hold the rebozo in the center of your body (see picture above) and pull. You could also hold all the fabric in one bunch, like playing tug of war. However you choose to hold it, the center is ideal.

Moms, if you have had a baby, try this out! You will immediately recognize how it is using the “right” muscles.

Expecting moms, practice this before hand to get a sense of what muscles you will want to be using. But just a little until you are actually pushing.

So there you have it, 5 ways to use a rebozo during labor. Some of these are great during late pregnancy to offer support, like the belly support and double hip squeeze. If you want to use the rebozo during labor, start practicing! It will help you be familiar with the positions and, if your husband is your birth support, they will be familiar with them as well.

rebozo during labor

Have you used a rebozo during labor? What positions did you like? If pregnant, are you wanting to try it?

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The post 5 Ways to Use a Rebozo During Labor appeared first on Modern Alternative Pregnancy.

How To Pray For Your Preborn Baby

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How to pray for your preborn baby

By Daja, Contributing Writer

A Chance Encounter

There are many people who have inspired me as a parent over the years. There’s my Bradley instructor, my doula clients, my mother and grandmother, saints, and then there are chance encounters that surprised me, but stuck with me.

When I was a missionary in Mongolia and pregnant with our third child we lived in the capital city, Ulaanbaatar. I was teaching a childbirth class in the second largest city, Darhan. It was a four hour taxi drive. I went once a week for several months as I had several students there.

On one such journey I shared a taxi with an elderly missionary from India. This gentleman asked me about my baby–if we knew if we were having a boy or girl, if we had names picked out, etc. All the typical questions. Then he asked if I prayed for my baby.

Of course.

Do you pray for his disposition? he asked.

Uh….what?

How To Pray For My Preborn Baby

He continued to explain that when his wife was pregnant with their now grown children they prayed that their child would have a peaceful spirit. He said they prayed specifically that God would give their child a peaceful disposition. Not that the child wouldn’t be passionate or spirited or loud or whatever you think the opposite of peaceful is. But, they wanted, at the child’s core, to be a peace. Secure in themselves. Not fretful. Not anxious. Able to rest.

What a beautiful thought. I certainly hadn’t been praying that way.  My prayers, up to that point, had been much more general. Prayers for a healthy baby, easy birth, you know, that kind of thing. Now I was thinking more specifically about this particular child and imaging his personality, his gifts, his disposition. And I started asking God, specifically, to help this child to feel security and peace. Shalom.

This elderly missionary went on to encourage me to read the Psalms out loud to my baby, inside the womb. Again, uh…what? I had not been doing that. Sure, my husband talked to the baby through the belly. But, we weren’t having story time with him and reading him Scriptures. This really made me think about what the baby could hear and how I could effect his disposition even in the womb.

How to pray for your preborn baby

Prebirth Memories?

I was pretty close to my due date, so there wasn’t a lot of time to implement these ideas. But, two years later I was again expecting a baby and I remember this wise old man’s words in that taxi cab in the Mongolian winter. I made sure I prayed for this child’s disposition. We made a CD of peaceful worship music during my 4th pregnancy. I listened to this same CD daily as I did my relaxation practice.  It created a triggered response for relaxation. I’d hear those first notes of the first song and I could get in my happy place. While in labor I listened to the same CD, with my candles lit and sipping my tea. That labor was beautifully peaceful (and quick!), probably because I was so able to relax.

Then an interesting thing happened. About three weeks after birth we were having a rough night. Baby was super fussy. Nursing, rocking, swaddling, dancing around. Nothing was cutting it. In the quiet of the night I put on the relaxation CD. When the first few notes were heard the baby stopped screaming and listened. He quieted right down, breathed softly and went to sleep.

I was in awe.

This has worked ever since with all of my children and I have had five more since then. Each pregnancy music choices have been a bit different, depending on what I’m feeling at the time. But, I listen to the same thing throughout the whole pregnancy and labor, praying for my child. And they remember. After birth, they always remember. That music becomes a link for them to a peaceful place with mommy, regardless of how they feel outside the womb.

Here’s the takeaway:

  • Pray for a peaceful disposition
  • Read the Psalms and other peaceful and prayerful things to your child in the womb
  • Use music to relax during pregnancy and watch the same music soothe your child after birth

 

For more inspiration in praying or your children, try this: Praying The Word For Our Children

 

Do You Pray for Your Preborn Baby? Do You Think it Made a Difference?

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Reduce Your Post-Birth Stress: 9 Ways to Prepare

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reduce your post-birth stress: 9 ways to prepare

By Jaimie Ramsey, Contributing Writer

Childbirth is a stressful event! Of course it’s joyful and exciting and full of blessings, too, but it brings countless changes to your life and family, it’s physically very hard on your body, and especially for the first-time mom there is so much to learn and get used to. The first few weeks after my son was born were very stressful for me, but that doesn’t have to be the case for you. I plan to prepare much more thoroughly the next time I get pregnant so I won’t have to deal with so much stress again. Keep reading to learn 9 ways to reduce your post-birth stress, so you can relax and enjoy your new little one!

9 Ways to Reduce Your Post-Birth Stress

Stock Up On Freezer Meals

Set aside a few days to freezer-cook and stock up at least two weeks’ worth of ready-made meals. If friends or family bring you food as well, great! Your meals will last longer. But it would have been so much less stressful for me if I knew I had at least two whole weeks before I had to do much cooking again. And don’t just do suppers, but pre-make breakfast items and snacks as well.

Get a Breast Pump Ahead of Time

Pull out your breast pump and familiarize yourself with it a month or so before your due date. I got a breast pump just in case, but I didn’t think I’d really need it. Two days postpartum I was engorged so badly that pumping was the only way to relieve it–and I hadn’t opened the box once! Even if you’ve used a pump before, get yours out and make sure it’s clean and doesn’t need any replacement parts so that you can use it at a moment’s notice.

Stock Up On Nursing Supplies

Have plenty of nursing supplies handy, even if you don’t think you’ll use them all. I had two nursing tanks when my baby was born, and I could have used half a dozen. Make sure you have plenty of breast pads, nursing bras, and nipple cream.

Keep the Pantry Stocked

Stock up on pantry items and things like toilet paper, tissue, paper plates and napkins, etc. You won’t feel like doing dishes for a while, and the less trips to the store your husband (or mom or neighbor) need to make, the better. Have plenty of necessities on hand so you don’t have to think about that for a while.

reduce your post-birth stress: 9 ways to prepare

Stay Home and Rest

Don’t plan on going to any major events–or really, anywhere at all–for the first couple weeks after your baby is born. I insisted on having our son’s baptism the first Sunday after he was born, and he was only five days old. I had virtually no energy, I was hormonal and overwhelmed, and I was completely exhausted by the end of the day. You can reduce your post-birth stress by keeping your expectations of yourself very low, and giving yourself time to rest. You’ll be healing, getting the hang of nursing, very sleep-deprived, and learning how to take care of a newborn–no need to push yourself or be social for a while.

Outsource Household Duties

Get someone to help you around the house for at least a few days, preferably a week or longer. My mom stayed with us for about four days and although it was wonderful, and we were really glad to just be the three of us when she left, we could have used help with things like laundry, meal preparation, and cleaning for a lot longer. My husband was amazing and my mother-in-law helped out with laundry, but I felt pressure (self-induced, mostly) to get back to my usual routine pretty quickly, and I didn’t rest as much as I should have. A month is an ideal length of time to “hibernate” after your baby is born, if you can manage that.

Keep Plenty of Diapers and Wipes on Hand

Stock up on diapers and wipes well before your due date. This is one thing I actually did do and it was so helpful. I had several months’ worth of diapers, in three sizes, and we didn’t even have to think about getting more until my son was about three months old. It was so great to not have to think about getting more diapers, and I never ran out.

Stock Up On Baby’s Wardrobe

Have plenty of basic clothing items (sleepers, onesies, etc.) in a variety of sizes before your baby is born. You can guess about how big your baby will be, but it’s hard to tell. My son was a little over eight pounds when he was born, and he grew out of newborn sizes quickly.

Pad Your Savings Account

This might be obvious, but it helps so much to not have to worry about finances right after your baby is born, especially if you’re quitting work or taking maternity leave. Plus it will enable your husband to take some time off without worrying about money. Babies can be expensive, even if you don’t have any major medical complications, and you’ll have medical bills no matter where or how you give birth. Saving up for that ahead of time will make life much less stressful. 

These are just a few of the ways you can reduce your post-birth stress, helping those first few weeks with a new baby be less stressful and more joyful and relaxing. Plan ahead, stock up on supplies, and do whatever you need to in order to make sure you have plenty of time to rest and heal. Then, after the excitement and hard work of labor and birth, you can enjoy those new-baby snuggles worry-free!

What’s one way you worked to reduce your post-birth stress?

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You Ate What?! And Other Questions Natural Pregnant Mamas Face (Part 2)

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You Ate What?! And Other Questions Natural Pregnant Mamas Face (Part 2)

Image by Esteban

By Jackie Scrivanich, Contributing Writer

The Decision to Embrace a Natural Pregnancy and Birth

When I got pregnant, I was determined to do the best for my baby. I spent many hours researching and found that a midwife and a homebirth were the right path for us. This was met with some fear and confusion by my family and peers.

I’m not the only one who is questioning what is best for my family. Many more families are choosing to look at our current medical system and decide that for them, they want something different. They do not want to have an induction, they do not want to be forced into a cesarean, and they want the freedom to choose their birth plan. This is causing many families to embrace a natural pregnancy and birth by using a midwife or even choosing to freebirth.

Make sure you check out the first part of this post, You Ate What!? And Other Responses That Come With Embracing a Natural Pregnancy and Birth (Part 1).

You Ate What!? And Other Questions Natural Pregnant Mamas Face

These responses represent some of the things that have been said to me or that have been said to people I know. My hope is that these responses can help you prepare for the type of responses you may receive on this path. It is not always the easy route, but it is what you have decided is best for your family. Do your research and be confident in your decisions; only you know what is best for your family.

Delayed Cord What?

Delayed cord clamping is such a beneficial thing for your baby. Even just a minute delay will make a world of difference–the increased blood flow to baby is linked to higher iron levels later on in baby’s first year. Encourage someone to look into it for themselves.

Won’t the Baby Drown?

Now this question is from a genuinely curious person. Take the time to educate them on the true safety of water birth, such as the fact that babies instinctively don’t take their first breath until the air touches their face.  (also true for “land births”). Water birth and its benefits is such an incredible option that many people are unaware of or misinformed about it.

A Midwife? Do They Have Any Real Education?

I tend to want to be sarcastic in my response but instead I tell them of course they have an education. Actually, they are more specialized in pregnancy and birth than an OBGYN (who is actually a surgeon). A midwife helps to keep labor and delivery on course while the mother-baby team works together. A midwife is extremely educated in her area of expertise, which is pregnancy and childbirth.

You’re Not Getting Him Circumcised? Isn’t That Unclean?

It is odd that so many people have an opinion about your unborn son’s genitals. I take this as an opportunity to share how the US is one of the only places that still does this as a norm and even here it is becoming less common. It is a cosmetic procedure that can result in death. That is not a chance I’m willing to take for a procedure that will forever alter my son.

Wow, You’re Brave!

No, just educated. Plain and simple. I have researched. I have questioned. I have searched and prayed and all sorts of other things. Assume, that just like you, I would never do anything to harm or endanger my child. My decisions are based on many factors.

You Ate What?! And Other Questions Natural Pregnant Mamas Face (Part 2)

Image by Melanie Rebane

 

Let’s Support Each Other

The best thing any of us can do for another mom is to be supportive. Supportive of their choices. Give information if they want it, but what we all need the most is to support each other and our choices.

No matter what you choose, take the time to research and embrace what is best for your natural pregnancy and birth plan.

How are some ways you can help educate someone to be a natural pregnant mama?

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The post You Ate What?! And Other Questions Natural Pregnant Mamas Face (Part 2) appeared first on Modern Alternative Pregnancy.

3 Visualization Exercises for Managing Labor

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3 Visualization Exercises for Managing Labor

I have given birth 8 times. Every one of those births was extremely different–as different as each child!  Some have been long (48 hours of active labor!) and some have been short (2.5 hours start to finish). Some babies have been fairly big (9 pounds) and some just average (7 pounds). Some labors have been painful (like would-someone-please-put-me-out-of-my-misery) and some have been completely pain-free!  If I had to sum up what to expect in labor it is this: Expect that it will be what you didn’t expect.

Because each labor and birth is so radically unique, there is no one-sized-fits-all approach to managing those contractions.  So, it’s good to have as many tools in your labor management toolbox as possible. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket, so to speak.

Think of massage aids, heating pads, essential oils, birthing tubs, slings, birth balls, doulas, sisters, music, videos, various positions, walking, yoga,  etc. Be ready to try lots of things in labor until you find exactly what will work for you in that moment.

In my third labor, I had used a variety of things to flow with the contractions. Dancing, the shower, the birth ball, sleep.  Yet, right there on the home stretch, I got flustered–for lack of a better word. I just lost my focus. I was getting visibly agitated and seemingly forgot got to breathe.  My midwife gently reminded me to breath deeply from my abdomen. I said, “I can’t. I’m not sure how!” (Even though I had been breathing deeply and beautiful for hours.)

She then said something that flipped the switch. She gave me a picture, something I could actually visualize. She said, “With every in breath I want you to lift the baby up. And with every out breath, put the baby down.”  I could SEE it. My breath normalized. I calmed. And my little one was born not too long after that.

3 Visualization Exercises for Managing Labor 2

Three Kinds of Relaxation

In my childbirth classes I teach my couples that there are three kinds of relaxation. You should be ready to address all of them and not think that just one type will do it for you.

Physical Relaxation.  These are things that may help you to relax your body. In this category could fall things like freedom to eat and drink, massage, labor positions, warm shower or bath, physical aids like birth balls, pillows or wraps.

Emotional Relaxation. This is when you can let go of anxiety, fear, or tension. Things that may help in this category are the loving support of your spouse, prayer, feeling safe and honored, feeling empowered and in control with your wishes respected, a birth plan, etc.

Mental Relaxation. Especially if you are an analytical type, this category is crucial! It’s giving your mind something to focus on that does not add stress to your emotions or body.  It’s at the same time getting your mind in the game AND getting your mind out of the way.  In this category falls things like a quiet environment, positive affirmations, meditations and visualization techniques.

It is this third category that my midwife so masterfully solved for me when she told me to lift the baby up with my breath and to set the baby gently down with my breath.  It was a picture I could grasp even in the throes of intense contractions. And it saved the day!

Here are some other visualization exercises that can help with labor and birth (be sure to practice them while you are pregnant!):

ONE: Sensory Recall

Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Now think of a place that you love. Might be the beach, the mountains, your childhood home, your own living room. It will be different for everyone. Now ask yourself these questions as you continue breathing deeply with your eyes closed.

1. What do you see in that place? Take a look around, notice the details.

2. What do you hear? Is it completely silent or is there music, birds chirping, etc?

3. What do you smell? Is it the ocean, the trees, your mother’s perfume or something lovely cooking?

4. What do you taste? Can be a food or drink, but could also be the salt of the sea or the freshness of the air.

5. What do you touch? Use your imagination to really feel what is around you.

Go back to question one and run through the five senses again, letting the experience become more detailed. You can go through this as many times as you need to until your mind is relaxed.

TWO: Progressive Relaxation

Get in a comfortable position. Close your eyes and breath deeply, listening to your breath. Now imagine yourself standing under a cool waterfall (if it’s summer) or under a warm shower (if it’s winter). As you imagine the water flowing down, imagine that it is taking with it all the cares of your day and any worries from your mind and they are washing away. My internal dialogue sounds something like this:

The water pours over my head, soaking my hair. It drips down to the very ends, and in response my mind relaxes and surrenders any unnecessary care. My forehead relaxes. [pause and let my body respond] My eye lids are heavy with relaxation. [pause] My cheeks and jaw loosen. [pause] The water flows over my face and to my neck and the tension from my neck releases. [pause] The water flows over my shoulders and down my arms to my elbows, wrists and hands. [pause] My hands become limp, letting go of any anxiety that I may be holding onto. [pause] As the water drips off my fingertips it takes with it any tension or stress. 

You get the idea. I do this s l o w l y until I have completely relaxed from head to toe.

St. Ignatius’ Examen (adapted for childbirth)

St. Ignatius, found of the Jesuits, taught his followers the following exercise to do at the end of every day:

1. Become aware of God’s presence.
2. Review the day with gratitude.
3. Pay attention to your emotions.
4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
5. Look toward tomorrow.

We can adapt this for mental relaxation in labor:

Become aware of God’s presence.

Review your pregnancy and beginning or labor with gratitude. (Every pregnancy has its ups and downs. But, you made it to the finish line. Reflect and foster gratefulness.)

Pay attention to your emotions. (As you look back, are there any worries that spring up? Or any hesitations? Anxiety? Face them and release them.  Is there joy, awe, peace, thankfulness? Foster those emotions.)

Choose one feature or even from your pregnancy and pray from that place. (Was it the day you found out you were pregnant? They day you first heard the heartbeat? The day you announced the good news to your family? Whatever it is, pick a positive point in your pregnancy and pray from that place.)

Look forward to holding your baby.  Visualize that moment of holding your precious little on in your arms.  Imagine the bliss of that moment and allow the holy awe to sweep over you. You are co-creating with the Creator. And that’s amazing.

Birth

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The post 3 Visualization Exercises for Managing Labor appeared first on Modern Alternative Pregnancy.

Planning for Birth, Jessica’s Story

The Final Few Weeks: Prenatal Preparations

What I Wish I Knew for My First Birth…

Fetal Ultrasound: Risks, Benefits, and Alternatives (Part I)


Fetal Ultrasound: Risks, Benefits, and Alternatives (Part II)

Preparing to Breastfeed Before Baby Arrives

Using Self-Education to Prepare for Labor and Birth

Back Labor: What it is and What You Can Do About It (Part 2)

The Umbilical Cord: An Amazing Avenue of Stem Cell Transport

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